Rap, I'm leaving you.

Rap, I'm leaving you (for good this time)

A year ago to the day I wrote my first blog post, discussing how I was leaving my rap days in the rear view for greener pastures. If you’ve ever tried breaking up something you love that you know isn’t the best thing for you, you know it takes a while. You have second thoughts, you may still dabble here and there, and next thing you know a year’s passed and you haven’t cut things completely off yet. So today, I’m going to make it official on the internet. Rap, I’m leaving you.

I recently found myself at the (inaugural) Pigeons & Planes open mic at Arlene’s Grocery. I was beyond ecstatic to be able to show one of my favorite blogs what I could do but while in the crowd something dawned on me. I was in the exact position I had been in with a lot of the rap showcases I had performed in the past. I knew I could probably win the crowd over with one of my oldies but goodies and give the audience bars but that would be an audible that would go against the game plan. The more and more I mulled it over, trying to solicit an R&B call and response from a hip-hop heavy crowd (95% of the attendees were male rappers) seemed less appealing. Instead of fighting for one of the last spots on an overcrowded line-up, I decided against performing that night.

That night I went home and finally had the courage to complete the inevitable: I removed all of my rap (and other non-original) tunes from my SoundCloud page. I knew the day was coming. It was always in the cards and it had been staring me in the face from my to-do list in all caps. The most difficult part of leaving this part of myself behind is the old songs I’ve had so much fun sharing and performing. I love that my rap cover of “Dark Horse” pops in auto-complete when you try to google me. I love that artists like D.R.A.M., RDGLDGRN and Sunny & Gabe have given me the opportunity to remix their tunes. I love that GLDN Collective accepted me with open arms even when I was a newbie in that mashup world. There may be a day when I come back to these parts of myself, it just isn’t today.

I still will dabble in the occasional cypher or hop on the 1s and 2s infthe right lituation* arises. What makes it a little more comforting to give those things up is the level of confidence that I (and the lucky few who have heard what my future sounds like) have in the new music. It brings the best of my rap sensibilities together with what I’ve learned as a producer and a DJ and couples it with a few more of my talents to redefine myself. Will be days where I’ll miss being “Just A Rapper...?” Sure. Those days are few and far between though, knowing what’s on the horizon.

If you’re feeling nostalgic, head over to the music page and reminisce. If you’re ready for the new new, hit up that mailing list!

*lituation - a situation that is lit.

Share by: